You are only as good as your Relationships

Show me your friends and I will show you your future. ~ Chris Hodges

Relationships are vital to success.

Without relationships, you are limited in what you can achieve. On your own, you can accomplish many things. Working with someone else, in sync, can allow you to achieve so much more. Add more people, working as a team, and you can reach higher heights that you never would have gotten to on your own.

However, relationships are difficult and tricky. Too much, too soon, not enough effort, no boundaries…all of these things can alter relationships in a negative way. If you give too much and your friend, family member, spouse, business partner, or team member takes too much, things get out of balance. If you get too aggressive in a relationship too soon, you can run someone off or have to slow down later on. If you don’t put in any effort, you will get what you give. If you don’t put boundaries on your relationships, you can have a lot of problems.

So, how do you make them work?

  1. You must have trust in any relationship.
  • Trust is the vital foundation that should be built upon over time in any relationship. It should be nurtured and strengthened at every opportunity.
  • Without trust, the rest of the relationship is not going to achieve the maximum potential.
  • Once violated and broken, it is very hard to regain.
  • Value it and make sure that you know it is hard to earn but easy to lose.
  1. Set boundaries.
  • Family business? Keep family, family. Keep business, business. In business with friends? Do the same. If you blur the lines and allow friction from an outside source to interject strife in a relationship, things can get damaged and it is hard to go back.
  • Know your limits. If it is your place to hold someone accountable, do so. If it is none of your business or you don’t have the proper connection, you are not in a place to provide correction.
  • Set clear expectations for the relationship about communication. Do you talk after hours? Are you connections on Social Media? Unmet expectations are a relationship killer.
  1. Manage your relationships wisely.
  • To have a friend you have to be a friend. If you don’t put in effort, don’t expect to have a strong relationship. If you never get to know your business partner, friend, co-worker, team mate, etc., don’t expect them to like you very much. You have to be likeable to be liked.
  • Don’t use people. Use things, love people. Treat others as they want to be treated. The Platinum rule.
  • If you don’t take care of your relationships, someone else will. Your best client is someone else’s best prospect. Always remember that.
  1. Exercise grace and forgiveness.
  • We all need grace. We all need forgiveness. Simply put, because we have been extended grace and forgiveness, it is our duty to pass that on to others.
  • Forgive first. Don’t wait on someone else to apologize, forgive them anyway. Trust me on this. It is painful at first but it will change your relationships.
  • Holding a grudge causes bitterness. Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. They have probably moved on. You are only hurting yourself. When you let go and turn it over to God, you will feel so much better.
  1. Sometimes you have to cut them loose.
  • Some relationships need to end. Like Cancer in the body, some people need to be cut out of your life. It is not easy but it is necessary sometimes to experience growth.
  • If you surround yourself with good people, you will have positive growth, a positive outlook and positive results. If you hang out with the wrong people, expect the opposite.
  • A negative person can ruin your whole life. They shouldn’t affect you but more often than not, they do.
  • You can’t change anyone. They have to change themselves and they will only do that when they are ready. Pray for them and let God do the rest.
  • If you see that the relationship is bringing you down, work on it. Pray about it. If it is beyond repair and you have done all that you can do. Sometimes you have to move on.

These are just a few things that I have learned through life experiences, studying, and wisdom passed on to me. I hope you find these helpful. Always remember that people will never be perfect. We all have issues and you are included in that. I used to think people should be like robots and do everything exactly the way I liked it. I was so wrong. Thankfully I have grown as a person and realize a lot of the problems I had with people were coming from me. Always look inside yourself when you have a problem with someone else. The problem may be in the mirror and not the person you have been focusing on.

Best of luck in your personal growth!

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Matt Wilson

Matt Wilson

Matt Wilson is a 2003 Graduate of Georgia Southern University in Business Administration. Upon graduation, Matt entered outside sales and shortly thereafter, started a Mortgage Company in Atlanta where he was born and raised. In 2006, he was recruited into the Financial Services industry and moved to Birmingham, AL in June of 2007 where he was mentored by his Father in Law for 8 years. In March of 2015, Matt started his own firm, Perpetual Lifestyle Planning, and it is here that Matt currently works with clients to develop plans that help people have the Lifestyle they desire. Matt believes that he is in a position to help people in all aspects of their lives as people come to him for financial issues but he likes to make a positive impact beyond that. Matt holds a Series 7, 66, and many state Life and Health licenses as he has clients around the country, and has a certificate in Financial Planning from Kaplan University. In 2017, Matt created an inspirational podcast called Living Life on Purpose and partnered with Andrew Wells of Executive Lion, a Coaching and Consulting company that has a mission to create a community of executives that encourage and inspire each other through their struggles and successes that lead to a positive work-life balance. Matt is married to Jamie Wilson and has two daughters, Britton and Gabrielle. Matt is active in the community and he serves on the Board of NAIFA Birmingham as Past President and the State Board of NAIFA Alabama as President. Matt is the Outreach Coordinator for Church of the Highland’s Grandview Campus and serves as a greeter and small group leader. Matt serves with The Just People Project and is a Trusted Advisor for Farm for Hope. Matt is on the Board of Ady's Army and the Advisory Board of Planet Fundraiser. Matt has served on the National MS Society’s Advisory Council and was a part of the Leadership Class of 2012. Matt is part of a Leadership group that meets regularly with Congressman Gary Palmer and he travels to Washington annually to meet with members of Congress on behalf of his industry and clients. Matt has received many awards in the Financial Services Industry including being named one of NAIFA Birmingham’s Top Advisors under 40 in 2014, 2015, and 2016. Matt has a passion for mentoring and he has many young people that he is helping grow in life and business. Matt enjoys spending time with his Family, exercising, outdoor activities, golf, the beach, lake, college football and serving others.

3 thoughts on “You are only as good as your Relationships

  • December 19, 2017 at 8:37 pm

    The article is excellent, and I like written words instead of videos. Age may have something to do with my preference.
    Reading about you was a treat. You have accomplished many worth things in all areas of life.
    A few words of advice–don’t busy yourself to death…literally. Time is beyond precious, continue to use it wisely.
    Thank you for your help during the past five years.
    Shirley Webb Hover

  • December 20, 2017 at 1:18 am

    An excellent article with tremendous insight. I love to see people that have recognized and found their purpose from God and then pursue
    It with passion! Your heart for service is evident in the words you share as well as your actions. May God bless you.

  • Matt Wilson
    December 20, 2017 at 4:49 pm

    Thank you Shirley and Mike! I appreciate your feedback and kind words very much!


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